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We're weeping inside.

August 23rd, 2006

Newbie on the loose. @ 12:17 pm

Hey guys. I just joined. Figured I'd throw in my few opinions of Ratner's so-called X-men film. I know it's a bit late, but I'm sure you guys don't mind a new ranting member.

First the Good Parts:
  • The Battles: All the fight sequences were extreme and powerful. With more “pawns” added to the mix in the final battle, you really got the sense of a last stand. Each fight sequence had a little something special about it that made me very proud the movie was out. The Fastball Special of Colossus and Wolverine, a fight between Storm and Callisto, the showdown of Fire and Ice,  they were all an amazing credit to their forefathers in the comic, and they were amazing to the end.
  • The New Characters: Kitty and Beast fit very nicely into this film. While Kitty’s role was a bit small in my opinion, I guess it worked for its purposes. Now Beast… NO ONE could have played the role more perfectly than Mr. Grammer. Absolutely amazing depiction of our blue furry friend. And we even got an “Oh my Stars & Garters” out of it, which made the comic fans in the audience clap and howl!
  • The Danger Room: Come on! We’ve been waiting for this for years! And they start out the movie with our first look at how it works, AND they threw in a Sentinel for our pleasure. I was ecstatic.


Now the Bad Stuff: (deep breath)

  • The Production: Yes, we had a new director, and that’s probably why I found so much wrong with it technically. First, the movie didn’t seem to flow together with the other two. There was no intro by Xavier, and no sort of outro whatsoever. It just… started abruptly, and ended abruptly. I don’t know why that bothered me as much as it did, but it was what I was waiting for the entire beginning, and then nothing. The Title Page came up as X-Men: The Last Stand. I don’t know why that bothered me either; in my mind I kept wanting it to say X3. The opening credits were similar to the previous two, but it fell in and out of the swarming bit for a while, and that threw me off as well. Ratner would have been better off making at the very least the beginning and ending look like the other two to signify an actual trilogy. I feel like this was a spin-off or fan-film. And it was so damn short compared to X2. If they'd added in even 30 more minutes, it may have been enough to save the film... or (more likely with Ratner) it would have just made a longer, shittier film.
  • The Script: This movie did not have nearly enough people writing on it. X-men 1 had about 4 writers, X2 had 6! This one... had 2. Yeah, just two. No wonder there were so many plotholes, no one was there to catch them.  Also I felt that a lot of times the language was inappropriate for the characters and it always felt very rushed. Everything was said and acted so quickly, very few pauses of suspense. And I’m sorry, but the two “Bitch” lines seemed ridiculously unnecessary. It threw the movie off the same track as the other two. Yes Logan called Scott a dick in the first one, but these were just much harsher in their use.
  • The Characters: Scott dies 10 minutes into the film, Xavier dies less than an hour into the film, Mystique looses her power and is rejected, Magneto looses his power at the end, and Rogue voluntarily gives it up! Oh and Jean dies… again. I really felt that these situations were NOT dealt with properly. Standing together doesn’t work if half of your team is dead or MIA. Yes it’s true, we don’t see Scott actually die, so who knows. Maybe he’s in a telekinetic cocoon on the bottom of the lake like Jean was, I don’t know. If the schedule conflict with Superman was so bad, they might as well just said he was MIA from the school… going to find himself. Xavier dying, that didn't work for me.  It happened so soon into the movie. I was just… disappointed. Mystique lost her powers too soon into the film, too. And I was pissed that they even did that. Although, wearing blue for long periods of time can have damaging effects on your health… ask Virginia Hey. Magneto loosing his powers? Thank God we find out it’s only temporary. And Rogue actually giving them up. That’s not her, not in her character. They didn’t give her enough to do, no wonder her powers seemed useless and hurtful. *sigh* And then Jean dies again. Fitting, since she dies like… 6000 times in the comic, but still… I feel like something else could have been done.
  • The Situations: Jean comes back, kisses Scott, kills him, and then goes comatose… did that work for anyone? The idea that the Phoenix was a split personality was interesting. It fit with the other movies in that the first movie shows it being mutated with the radiation, and the second increases it. And fuck did she look scary. I was still hoping for more out of her though, I don’t know what or why. Jean kills Xavier before a screaming Magneto, but then without hesitation he takes her away like she did nothing. Shouldn’t there have been some sort of fearful pause, and a cry for help from Jean? No blending. Ororo is playing with the weather, and we don’t know why she’s upset. And it seemed out of Storm’s character to be so anti-Jean with her “She made her choice”. Wouldn’t she be fighting alongside Logan to bring her back, since they're supposed to be best friends? They talk of closing down the school but they don’t say why. Xavier, before he dies, says “Don’t let it control you”, but it does and Jean has to die as a result. So his last words were in vain. Angel’s role was extremely small, as was Colossus in my opinion… he has what…. Two lines? Rogue disappears for half the movie… so much for standing together. Do they ever explain how they got the cure from Leech? It’s just there, and he’s the reason, huh? Ok, that’s dumb. Rogue sees Bobby and Kitty together, and instead of getting jealous and confronting him, she goes and gets cured to be with him. And then Bobby’s all happy, and Kitty doesn’t exist anymore… what a PLAYER!! And what was up with the time hole you could drive a truck through??? The flight from NY to San Fran took twenty minutes for both the Blackbird jet and Angel himself… confusing? Jean’s death was too quick and too pointless. She’s destroying things left and right, but I still felt like I was waiting for something more, and then it’s over. And the next time you see Logan, he’s happily sauntering around the mansion like it’s nothing. Shouldn’t he be a bit more depressed?
  • What I was Left Wanting: Not once did the Jean’s fire return. Not once did she rise up and say “I am Phoenix”. Not once did Rogue use her powers against a foe and gain flight and super strength. I was killing to see a scene with Rogue in the Cure Office, and someone (A movie-ized Ms. Marvel perhaps?) suddenly goes berzerk and Rogue uses her powers to subdue her. And then she gets her strength and flight... or something like that. Ororo STILL has no accent, which just bugs me. They never explained the Bobby-Kitty-Rogue triangle. You never see Psylocke use her blades like she said she does in the magazine article. You never see some of the other kids play around with their powers. And they fail to even name half the characters in the movie. So you had better just know from credits.


I felt like the movie was rushed, improperly explained, and sometimes out of character. Ratner did alright, but he was not fit for the movie. Only Singer could have pulled it off without many mistakes. And considering X3 had two writers and X2 had six, I’m not surprised I was left with so many questions and loopholes. But all that aside, after a lot of reflection, I did enjoy the movie. The characters were alive once more, the action sequences were good, and the added screen time for Storm didn’t bother me as much as I expected. I dunno, I just don’t hate Halle Berry as much as some. If they had added an extra half hour to the movie, maybe it wouldn’t have felt so rushed and incomplete. But if Singer doesn't direct X4, I may have to kill someone. Speaking of Singer, I wonder what he thought of the movie. I hope he sits at his desk, late at night, with his head in his hands and says "What did they do to it?"

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We're weeping inside.